Major Dad

So, I went out with a new guy on Monday, and surprisingly had a really nice time. I was really starting to lose faith in men, let me tell you. I’d just been on date after date with these guys who were nice, cute, had jobs, funny, etc., but something wasn’t there. I couldn’t imagine myself kissing them. But I could totally see myself kissing this guy. He’s super cute, nice, such an amazing gentleman. Of course he paid, helped me with my jacket, pulled out my chair, walked me to my car (which surprisingly the past few guys did not on the first date – deal breaker), was so nice and just a great guy. He’s a major in the Army and is stationed nearby…

..Therein lies the problem. He’s only in town for 3 ½ months. I always find myself falling for guys that aren’t going to be around very long. Look at coach. I knew from the get-go he was leaving in May, but I let myself date him, and now look at the situation I’m in! Here I am actually pondering getting a temporary move to be with him! I think I may subconsciously be picking men that I know I can have fun with, but no real commitment. This opens a whole new can of worms about me and fear of commitment.

Last night the Major called me and here’s how he started the conversation. “I have something important to tell you. I should have told you last night, but I was having a really great time and didn’t know how to say this…but, I really like you and think you deserve to know. I’m divorced and have a two year old daughter. I understand if you’re freaking out and don’t want to ever talk to me again.” Fortunately I was at Cat’s and was able to tell him I’d call him back later that night (note to reader, Cat owes you a post about our dinner last night).

When I got home I called him back and we talked. I told him I wasn’t freaking out and honestly wasn’t surprised. It’s just the nature of the military, they marry really young, and I’d say chances are most men in the military are either married, divorced, and yes I have to say it, or cheating on their wives. I said it was better to be divorced than in a bad relationship. He military people don’t like to give up and see divorce as giving up on the marriage. I assured him I didn’t see it that way because although when I get married, I hope not to get divorced, being divorced is a much better option than in a miserable marriage.

The question now is, what am I doing? I always thought being divorced would be a deal breaker, children only adding to it. I didn’t think I could handle that kind of baggage. Especially children that weren’t mine. I always would joke “Is it too much to ask for someone new?” But here I find myself not caring. I think it’s because I still see this as short term. Will we even have a third date? Who knows at this time? It’s way too early to even guess if we’ll date past next Friday, much less until April when he leaves. And even if we did, I assume we’d break up in April when he leaves to go back to where he’s currently stationed. Three months is not enough time to do anything other than have fun. (And here I was not 2 months ago saying no more “fun only” after the Coach. It was time to get serious). So I wonder if I don’t care because here’s a reason out when/if it starts to get serious (only adding to the thought I might be afraid of commitment). Even without this information, it was certain I definitely needed to go out with him a few more times to determine if he’s someone I want to be “serious” with (even if it is just until April). But now, this just adds a whole new monkey wrench to the equation, and I’m not sure what to do.