The Conundrum of the Condom

This weekend, my mom came to visit and help me do some stuff around the house. As usual, we ended up shopping all day Saturday. Sunday, we did manage to get something done so that my dad wouldn't know the trip to my house was just a ploy to go shopping in the city. We put some grass seed down on my weed filled yard. Now I just have to get up early to water and hope none of my neighbors frown as I water my yard despite our voluntary water restrictions.

So, Saturday night, my mom spends the night with me. I love it when my mom spends the night (which I will add is about twice a year on special occasions; for example, once when I had surgery, and once because I couldn't take a day off work and she volunteered to be at my house when I had new windows put in). She makes me dinner, she cleans my kitchen, we watch movies, and I love feeling fresh the next morning because I didn't go out and get crunk tore up the night before.

So, this particular night, we're getting into our jammies so that we can enjoy a movie, and I'm reaching into my night stand to pull out some nice jammie jams. The weather had turned a little cooler, so I had to reach way in the back to find my flannel pj's. I see the ones I want to wear, and start yanking on them to loosen them from the other pj's that are on top. Finally, it breaks free and as it flings backward, it bring something with it. I hear this soft thud on the bed and in that instant, I knew immediately what it was flying across the room...a condom. I quickly snatched it up and put it back in the night stand. I'm freaking out at this moment. Did my mom see? I didn't gasp or anything like that to cause suspicion, and I hope it was all too fast for my mom to see, but she did get lasic recently.

Now this something no mom wants to ever see, especially my mom, let me tell you. I am a virgin queen to my mother, and on the night that I get married, I swear to you, I will tell her I am scared that it's going to hurt. All night long, I'm waiting for it..."Maxi, I know you didn't want me to see that condom, but I did" and launch into this long talk about the right guy, waiting until marriage, being a slut, I don't know. It doesn't help that I haven't dated someone "special" in 3 years. And she doesn't know about the last few guys I've dated since I knew it wasn't going anywhere and there's no reason to introduce relationships before 6 months to the parents. So, if that condom didn't have an expiration date of 2006, she's going to wonder who I'm whoring around with. Anyways, did she see it? I don't know, and I hate not knowing!

-Maxi