Major Letdown

This will probably be the last in the post series about Major. Last weekend he left back for his original base. I was a hot mess last week, I will admit that. Cried myself to bed everynight.

Thursday night I finally got the nerve to talk to him. I told him I really cared for him, he meant more to me than a 4 month fling while he was here, I was going to miss him, etc. He wasn't really much in the talking department. He sort of repeated everything I said, but that was about it. Then he said he really appreciated everything I did for him here, and thank you for being a great friend. No mention of the future, no mention that we can see if it works out. More like "thanks for the time here, it meant a lot, but that's it."

I sort of liken the situation to summer camp. Everyone has that camp story where they go away and fall in love (his name was Chad. I was 13, I had my first french kiss on the bridge that went out over the lake. Oh the memories) but then it's back to reality when summer's over. I think that's how it was with Major. I do think we were in each other's lives for a reason. For me, I was getting down right cynical about men. I think I needed him to come in, show me that there's still good guys out there that will treat you right, and I don't need to settle. For him, I think he needed the confidence boost, and really just the fun after his painful divorce.

Additonally, I think he just couldn't wait to get back to his daughter. That was foremost on his mind, and while he was somewhat sad to be leaving me, the excitement he felt to see his daughter, and be back in familiar territory was all incompassing. And I respect that. It shows he's a good father and person. So maybe once he's back and settled, he'll realize life without Maxi is pretty dull. Or maybe not.

Major did call every night for 6 days. But last night he did not. I don't really know how I feel about this. Part of me is sad, because I know he's slipping away into the friend zone, then eventually into someone I used to know but don't talk to zone. I think the transition with him calling really helped me though. I wasn't feeling completely helpless and alone, but at the same time, by not seeing him, it's helping me a lot.

Even though this isn't the way I wanted it to end, I will say this. I'd do it again. I really enjoyed my time with him, and he taught me a lot. I knew going into this that there was the potential that I would care deeply for him, and that I would be hurt, but that was the risk I was willing to take on from the beginning. But I guess that's that. We'll see if anything else materializes. I feel trite saying all these cliches, but I'm not sad because it's over, I'm happy because it was. And really, those words were never more true.

xoxo, Maxi