Does Absence Really Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

The time is nearing for the Major to leave. He's being stationed out in the mid-west. 2 months ago, I would have hardly imagined I'd be in this situation. But it was a calculated risk, and I was aware I was taking it. I knew that there was a very strong possibility that I would care very deeply for him. Is the old adage true? "Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?" Guess I'll be finding out soon.

So, my dilemia is this. When do I talk to Major about this? I want to tell him I care for him, and am willing to try the long distance. Something I was not willing to do with Coach. This really brings both relationships into light. With Major, plane fare is going to cost twice as much as to visit Coach. It's halfway across the nation, I'll lose a day in travel alone. But not only am I willing, I want to do this. I want him to say he wants us to try long distance and that he still wants to see me.

What is the problem you may ask? Well, there are several:

1. We've only been dating 2 months, 3 by the time he leaves. Is that enough time to have a serious conversation about where we're going? Is that enough time together to make long distance last? Do we have the foundation for all this?

2. Earlier in our relationship, I may have alluded to the fact that I was okay with him leaving and that being it, or even worse, that that's what I was expecting the whole time. So, I don't know what he thinks, but I have to let him know that I do care for him, and that he means so much more to me than just a good time, good company, and a good f**k while he's here.

3. I'm petrified to find out what he has to say. Really, scared to death. I feel as though by not talking about it, I can ignore it, and pretend he really isn't leaving. I'm most afraid that he's going to say "Maxi, I really enjoyed hanging out with you, and I care a lot about you, but logistically speaking, I just don’t think this is going to work out.” I can see him being that type. Very military. His point of reference just being very different from mine. And That’s not what I want. I want him to be romantic and say “We can work it. We can talk on the phone, and we’ll fly to see each other, and maybe one of us can transfer in a year.” But, with his whole situation (child and ex-wife in the forefront here, followed closely by 2,000 miles between us).

I will let you know what happens, eventually. When I grow some and talk to him like an adult. To help me make my decision, Cat put together this gaming theory for me. I attempted to attach it, but since I PDFed it at work, it's not supported by blogger, so you'll just have to use your imagination.

xoxo, have a great weekend!
Maxi