eHarmon-me: Day 16

Well, here it is, a little over 2 weeks, and no dates, nothing even too exciting. I have tons of open communication, some that I'm excited about, some, I'm not. More that I've closed, some (around 5) that have closed me. I'm starting to wonder if I'll even get 1 date out of this 3-month subscription.

Any thoughts on this? What's better... To be rejected from the get-go, or to go through a few stages, then reject?

I'm trying not to be close minded, but I feel like there's a difference between not thinking someone is "hot," and just getting that creepy feeling of just pure unattraction. Those are the ones I'm closing out. In fact, I will let you know, I have left several open and am communicating with some that I don't find overly attractive (watch one of them be the one I marry! haha), but they didn't give me that instant creep vibe. To some extent, you have to be attracted to your partner, regardless of what's on the inside, and if someone makes you vomit a bit inside when you look at their picture (and honestly, some that gave me this feeling were by society standards "attractive"). I think that's one thing I've definitely learned through this process, is that attraction to someone is an instant feeling you get when you look at them. And I think you shouldn't be repulsed when you look at someone. I know that sounds terribly bitchy and shallow, but in my defense, there are some ugly people out there that I don't get repulsed by. It's just an instant feeling that you get, and I think that is important. Actually, the more I think about this, I think the Date Doctor that I saw a few months ago said something to that effect. I don't remember what all he said, but that attraction was what made you want to talk to someone, and chemistry is what keeps you talking to someone. I guess eHarmony is trying to say all these people they match you with, you should have "chemistry" with, now you just have to find the ones that you are attracted to.

The more I am on eHarmony, the more I hate people that don't post pictures. Okay, it's fine if you hold off for a little while, but if you are initiating the conversation, then show your pictures!

Ok, so today I actually got 8 matches. 3 of these 8 started communication. One had a son, and I think I'm really thankful that Major showed me not to discard someone because they were divorced and had kids. That definitely used to be a deal breaker, and I think I'm more open to it now, and that's especially important with the whole eHarmony thing, were you shouldn't just close people off because of one trait (even though I did just expound on the whole looks thing and just closing out left and right, haha). I did close out one. Gosh, I love the "I think the physical distance is to great." I did close someone else out I was talking to due to their response "...everyone needs there..." Ugh.

So, here's the update:
32 current matches
18 in communication (out of those 32)
53 closed.

So, I have received 85 matches, and have closed over 60% of them. I guess that sounds about right. If not more should be closed out. I think out of every 10 people you see, maybe you're only really attracted to 2 of them. Uh oh, does that mean I need to go in and close out 15 of those that are left? Because I could easily do that!

Something else I've learned through this process, is you don't have to go out with everyone. I guess for the past few years, I've gone out with just about anyone who asks me out. I always figured "how are you going to know unless you give them a chance?" But this is the difference, you know straight up if there's something about the guy that you just aren't going to like, and you don't have to go out with them to find out whatever it is. I do like this about eHarmony. Otherwise, I might almost bet that I'd go out with all 85 of my matches (well, only 80, 5 did close me out).

xoxo, Maxi