eHarmon-me: Day 31

I know, I know, I have been ONE BAD BLOGGER lately. But like I said earlier, it’s because the novelty has worn off, and I haven’t had any matches that have excited me. I’ve been on for about a month now, and no real progress to speak of.

Let’s see here. I closed out matches for about a week now. I only have 15 “open” matches, of which I am communicating with 12. Some that I’m “communicating” with, I’d rather not. For example, one of the duds that I went into OC with turned out to be a super email dud. It was so hard to squeak any sort of response back to him, and I’m sure he could notice that because he hasn’t replied back to me either. Fun fat emailed me a while ago for the second time, I haven’t responded back, and he sent me another email today! Yikes! I couldn’t read it at work, so I will be interested in seeing what he has to say. The only one I’m somewhat excited about is the engineer. He is still just as cute and funny as ever. I wrote him a second email back yesterday. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder if it will work. He lives about 1 hour and 45 minutes away, and the more I think about this, the more I don’t think I can literally afford a long distance, driving every weekend relationship. First, the gas alone will send me to the poor house, secondly, when am I going to do anything on my house? I cannot, I repeat CANNOT neglect my house!

I’ll probably open matches up again, but I wanted to take a break, so to speak. Plus, there was the free weekend. Oh, radio guy commented back to my close message “I thought we had potential…” I think he must have been able to log on for the free weekend. He was the one that sent me his email address. Maybe I’ll shoot him an email, we’ll see.

Speaking of emails, I wanted to write a quick update on Major. I finally wrote him an email, (I spent lots of time making sure it wasn’t accusatory, or give him any ultimatums, etc.). Basically I said I was confused as to why he was calling me and wanting me to come out. I really couldn’t tell if it was because he was being nice or whether he really cared for me. I would have liked for us to maintain a relationship, but understand if he doesn’t, given his situation. I thought it was a well written email. He responded with telling me he cared very deeply for me, I helped him through a very rough time in his life. He would like to see me, that’s why he invited me out, but to talk about a future without seeing the whole picture would be premature. He definitely wanted me to come out, meet his daughter, see where he lives, etc. But with that all said, he indicated long distance relationships are tough. It was a very adult response, and he had a lot of valid points. But I don’t really know where I see this going now. I emailed him back and told him I had a lot to think about and would call him, but that was almost a week ago. I just don’t know what I want. I wish it could be easy and simple and he lived here, child and all. But I really don’t see how I can afford to fly out there, and he’s right, long distance relationships are hard, and they’re even harder if you can’t afford to see the person. So, I’m wondering if I just let us be as friends, and who knows, maybe in 6 months, a year’s time, things will be different and if it’s meant to be, then things will work out so that it is. But at least I feel good that I let him know how I felt, and I can’t ever be like “what if?”

Memorial Day weekend was really nice. Had a few cookouts Thursday through Sunday. Then Sunday, I headed to my parents where my parents, aunt, uncle and I went out on the boat on the lake. It was such an amazingly perfect day! I got some serious tan! Woo hoo! I am a sun lover 100%! I actually took work off on Tuesday as well and spent some extra time at the pool. Everyone was commenting about how tan I looked, and for those that know me, saying I look tan is just as good as saying I look skinny or pretty!

xoxo, Maxi