eHarmon-me: Day17

Just got off the phone with my friend E's friend C. We had a very long discussion about E's "boyfriend," how we both hate him, he makes people uncomfortable because of the rude things he says about E (in front of us), and how rude and straight up mean he is to her. And we don't know if it's that she doesn't care, or doesn't know, but it's really sad how she has all these excuses for why he treats her so mean. "I deserve it." I CANNOT believe she said that! That really is the sign of an abusive relationship when you start believing the terrible things the abuser says. C and I are really close to calling an intervention!

C and I were talking, because I finally told E how I felt. C's been wanting to say something for years, and now feels like she can, since I broke the ice. But this is what was interesting, she said "I always feel like I can't say something about some one's boyfriend unless I have a boyfriend, because they'll just think I'm jealous." And she really hit the nail on the head. It doesn't matter that the guy treats you poorly, or that he doesn't have a job, or is an alcoholic, or is married, or is just a straight up douche-bag loser, you don't like him because you're jealous. People in relationships can be so self-righteous!

Well, anyways, the point is, after we talked about not having boyfriends, I made a joke about how I was about ready to sign up for eHarmony (as of now, only Cat knows, and she's been sworn to blood sister secrecy!). Turns out C signed up for eHarmony earlier this year, and she regaled me of her experience! Turns out, it was very similar to mine. She got tons of matches, tons of communications, a few closes, and zero dates. Well, actually, she ended up deleting out her photos and profile information and basically chickening out, but her stories were so classic! She actually even had gone out with someone previously that she got matched up with. He closed her out pronto with "other." C said "I guess 'I already went out with and slept with her' wasn't an option!" Haha! Anyways, she said she was so paranoid on her way to work. If anyone even looked at her "did they get matched up with me and dump me?" "Do they recognize me and think 'geez, she looks so much better in her picture?'" I mean, it is EXACTLY what I had joked about with Cat. She thinks she might sign back up again, and this time take it seriously. Oh, one more thing she mentioned, was the matches getting out of control. Like me, she said there were just too many. One day, she actually had to go in and close out 85 of them to get her matches under control. But it was shortly thereafter that she was just too chicken and overwhelmed, that she just closed everything out.

So, even though C does not know that I signed up, I took her testimony to heart, and went in and closed out everyone! And I mean everyone! I have only 16 active matches right now. I even closed out police officer and no picture/now picture because it's been about 2 weeks with no response from them. I also closed out 5 of the 7 matches I received today. I now have 76 closed matches! But I feel good. I feel like I cleaned up a lot of the riff raff. And by riff raff, I mean those that are not active profiles and those that I'm not interested in. Unfortunately there were a few cute ones, but hey, they're gone now! Then, in the spirit of cleaning everything up, I made my communication with all those that were outstanding. I even sent second questions to a few guys, and I actually have second questions from a few as well. This is getting serious folks, the time for open communication is almost upon us. I can see why C chickened out. I don't know if I can do it. Can I actually meet someone at the trite Starbucks and order a tall soy, double espresso, light latte? (I actually don't drink coffee, so what am I going to have, a diet coke? Please.). But let's be honest for a second, Maxi needs booze on a first date. I can't be meeting someone on Sunday afternoon for a coffee. I need to get happy hour drinks after work to loosen up a little.

Back to my current communications. I think one of the guys I'm about to get into open communication with is serious! Let me post some items from his profile:
30 and in the one of the Armed Forces (one thing I learned from Major, military men are serious family guys).
"...can't wait until my own family is my absolute passion."
"I am looking for a woman that completes me"-this one actually makes me gag
"Relationships are really important to me"
His MH - "I must have someone who shares my desire to have or adopt children."

Maxi is nervous here guys. I think we have another Gorilla Arms (a guy that used to work in my office and was like "have job, have 4 bedroom suburban family home, enter wife, 2.5 kids, and dog here" Wait, actually, he already had a dog) on our hands here. I know I'm probably getting way ahead of myself here. Chances are pretty good that either a) we'll never meet, b) we will meet but he won't be up for boozing on the first night, and will be turned off that that's what I want, c) he'll take one look at me and be like "Um, what part of 'I enjoy being physically fit' made you think I'll date someone who needs to drop a quick 40?' or d) "it" just won't be there if we do meet. One thing I love is to worry about things that most likely never happen (was that on my eHarmony questionnaire?)

I'm logging off for now. Have a great night, and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

xoxo, Maxine