Major Dad Jeans

Well, things have been going pretty well with the Major. We've gone out 3 times and he is making me dinner this Friday. I'm know he likes me, and I do really enjoy hanging out with him. He's so smart and nice, and I cannot CANNOT reiterate enough how much of a complete gentleman he is!

So, I'm kind of coming to terms with the whole ex-wife and child thing. I've decided I don't really know him well enough at this stage to determine what kind of baggage this really is. I don't really like the recentness of the divorce, and of course the child is something I'm struggling with, but I have decided to just see what happens and where this goes before I decide to toss him out for having a life before me. People older and wiser than me have cautioned me not to assume it won't work out because of this, and find out by living if it will work or not, not just by assuming what will happen. And who knows, I may decide I don't like him for other reasons in a month or so, or he may feel the same way about me. The point is, I'm not going to assume it won't work out at this point in the game. I really haven't enjoyed being around someone in a long time, and Major really is sweet and kind and smart and all that. So, like I said, we'll see what we shall see.

But...there is a problem. I feel somewhat shallow about this, but I know I am validated in my concern. Major wears MAJOR dad jeans! Jeans that are blue, sit high on his waist, make his butt and crotch look nasty and are tapered and slightly high waters. I really don't know what to do! I can't take him seriously in these jeans. I'm finding though I really like who he is, so I'm not totally turned off, but I need to get him into a store stat! The problem is, we're nowhere near at a point where I can try to dress him or anything like that. But I really can't look at that butt for a minute longer! I need to figure out the perfect way to bring it up. Say something flattering like he's too young to be wearing those jeans, he's in a new town, needs to spruce it up, get his best foot forward, he has a cute butt, needs to show it off, something, anything to get him out of those danged dad jeans. And the worst part about the whole dad jeans thing is...he's a dad! Yikes! It's too much for my shallow brain to handle at this point. We'll see, I'll figure something out.

And for those that don't know about the dad jeans, they are the male equivalent to the mom jeans. There's a hilarious article here that pretty much sums it up. I'm pretty sure you all know what I'm talking about though, think Jerry Seinfeld here. Surely men in your office, or even your own dad is guilty of the dad jeans. It doesn't matter so much when you're a little 2 year old that your dad is wearing nerdy jeans, but when you're trying to date the single, divorced dad of the 2 year old, it matters!

xoxo, Maxi

Major Dad

So, I went out with a new guy on Monday, and surprisingly had a really nice time. I was really starting to lose faith in men, let me tell you. I’d just been on date after date with these guys who were nice, cute, had jobs, funny, etc., but something wasn’t there. I couldn’t imagine myself kissing them. But I could totally see myself kissing this guy. He’s super cute, nice, such an amazing gentleman. Of course he paid, helped me with my jacket, pulled out my chair, walked me to my car (which surprisingly the past few guys did not on the first date – deal breaker), was so nice and just a great guy. He’s a major in the Army and is stationed nearby…

..Therein lies the problem. He’s only in town for 3 ½ months. I always find myself falling for guys that aren’t going to be around very long. Look at coach. I knew from the get-go he was leaving in May, but I let myself date him, and now look at the situation I’m in! Here I am actually pondering getting a temporary move to be with him! I think I may subconsciously be picking men that I know I can have fun with, but no real commitment. This opens a whole new can of worms about me and fear of commitment.

Last night the Major called me and here’s how he started the conversation. “I have something important to tell you. I should have told you last night, but I was having a really great time and didn’t know how to say this…but, I really like you and think you deserve to know. I’m divorced and have a two year old daughter. I understand if you’re freaking out and don’t want to ever talk to me again.” Fortunately I was at Cat’s and was able to tell him I’d call him back later that night (note to reader, Cat owes you a post about our dinner last night).

When I got home I called him back and we talked. I told him I wasn’t freaking out and honestly wasn’t surprised. It’s just the nature of the military, they marry really young, and I’d say chances are most men in the military are either married, divorced, and yes I have to say it, or cheating on their wives. I said it was better to be divorced than in a bad relationship. He military people don’t like to give up and see divorce as giving up on the marriage. I assured him I didn’t see it that way because although when I get married, I hope not to get divorced, being divorced is a much better option than in a miserable marriage.

The question now is, what am I doing? I always thought being divorced would be a deal breaker, children only adding to it. I didn’t think I could handle that kind of baggage. Especially children that weren’t mine. I always would joke “Is it too much to ask for someone new?” But here I find myself not caring. I think it’s because I still see this as short term. Will we even have a third date? Who knows at this time? It’s way too early to even guess if we’ll date past next Friday, much less until April when he leaves. And even if we did, I assume we’d break up in April when he leaves to go back to where he’s currently stationed. Three months is not enough time to do anything other than have fun. (And here I was not 2 months ago saying no more “fun only” after the Coach. It was time to get serious). So I wonder if I don’t care because here’s a reason out when/if it starts to get serious (only adding to the thought I might be afraid of commitment). Even without this information, it was certain I definitely needed to go out with him a few more times to determine if he’s someone I want to be “serious” with (even if it is just until April). But now, this just adds a whole new monkey wrench to the equation, and I’m not sure what to do.

Croce e delizia

Oh, boy. This is going to be a long one...

Whenever I find myself crying or complaing about a relationship, my mother would always say, "Croce e delizia." This is an Italian phrase which translates to "cross and delight." It's used to describe something that gives pain and plesure at the same time. With these words she would remind me that even though I was said at that given moment, the relationship had brought happiness in the past.

I'd say the phrase is pretty accurate for a lot of my relationships.

Why are my mother's words ringing in my ear? Easy. My budding relationship friendship with the Drug Rep is making me crazy!

Prima, la delizia
I am really starting to like him. A lot. We had fun when we first started dating, but it was fun that I usually have when I first meet someone. As Maxi and I like to say, "They all are fun" in the beginning. However, since I've been hanging out with him, I feel like I'm really starting to like him. The last time we went out to dinner, I had quite an odd experience. We were enjoying dinner in a small local restaurant. We had almost finished our meals, so we were talking quite a lot. We were exchanging stories, laughing, and carrying on. For a second, I felt as if we were togeher in a bubble. I felt like we were the only people in the room, which is weird since I'm usually always scanning the room cognizant of my surroundings. For a second, I got "lost" in his company, such that nothing else mattered. I know this experience sounds awfully romantic. Have you ever had this happen, Maxi?

I am liking him a lot, and this is where La Croce comes in.

La Cosa Piu Importante, La Croce

I feel as if my love is unrequited. We've been hanging out for 2 months now. We've been out on average twice a week. We briefly made out on the second date. Other than that, he barely touches me! That fact that things haven't gotten physical (I'm not ready for sesso just yet, I just would like a little m. o.ing once in a while! ) makes me feel like I'm his ugly fat friend who has a good personality so he keeps me around.

"It's cool. I don't like fat girls anyway."

Looking for answers, friends tell me that their now husbands didn't kiss them until several months into the dating process. Yahoo! tells me that the first three months should be about learning about the other person and having fun. My head tells me that he's just not that into you.

All in all, I think that if he's causing me so much distress, I shouldn't worry about him anymore. I've tried to carry out the first step several times, but to no avail. He always ends up calling me after all. Maybe today things will be different.

Now, if you'd excuse me, I have to run. There's a number in my black book that needs to be deleted.

Overtime with the Coach

I had a pretty good weekend this past weekend. Saturday night, I went up to visit my friend E. She had graciously agreed to go with me to see the Coach coach. The game was great, Coach's team won! And it was a good, suspenseful game! They went into overtime, and there was a lot of action, five 3 pointers in a row, each putting the other team ahead by 2 points! It was great, I could barely watch it, the suspension was too much!

After the game, I waited around to see him. He was sooooo excited I came. Gave me the best and biggest hug I've had in awhile, and was all about smooching me. We were quite adorable, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, he had to get back on the bus and leave, so I didn't get too see him too long, but I was really glad I went.

Each time I see him, I just like him more and more. And I know it could never work between us, but I can't help but fantasize about what it would be like to be with him. Would long distance work? Would I move to be with him? But I just have to keep telling myself, we would never work! He's so stubborn. He's a major Catholic, complete with an icon over his bed, and I would never convert, and I know he wouldn't either. He'd never be around, his job would always come first and never me (or children if it came to that). So, basically, I would be miserable in our relationship. Just writing all that out helps too. It clears my head, and in the aftermath of seeing him, and all those feelings coming up again, reaffirms why we would never be.

The rest of the night was fun too, we went out until 4 am, something I hadn't done in a very long time. It felt good knowing I still had it in me! Plus, I got to make out with some random dude. He was really cute too and I needed it! I'm not expecting, or even wanting, a relationship, but it was good to act a little young and crazy again.

Put me in Coach! - I'm ready to Play...Today...

It’s been awhile since either Cat or I have posted, but nothing too exciting has been going on. For New Year’s, I went up to visit the Coach, and had a really nice time. Surprisingly, I might add. In fact, when I left, I was sad. That was an emotion I was not necessarily expecting to have. I’ll see him again this weekend when his basketball team plays a nearby University. I’ll literally see him during the game and for 5 minutes afterwards. They have to get on the bus pretty quickly after the game. Then, as sad as it sounds, that will be the last time I bet I ever see him. Time to say good bye! Haha, but for what it’s worth, I did like the Coach. He was stubborn, pertinacious, and self-important. Sometimes, when I was out with him, I would cringe because what he said was just so obnoxious and it embarrassed me. But I liked him. He was confident and never made me doubt how he felt about me. I think I knew that I could really fall for him, and then I’d be heartbroken when he left in May, so I kept my distance. But now I have to officially move on, no more hanging on, and see what else is out there. Hopefully going to see him this Saturday won’t turn out to be a mistake.

Other than that, when is Mark going to notice and ask me out?!? Haha, I feel like a nerdy freshman in high school wanting the senior quarterback to ask me out!

xoxo, Maxi