eHarmon-me: Day 3

This morning, when I checked my email at work, I found 7 new matches, 0 requests for communication from these new matches, and 2 that had answered my questions that I posed back for them.

When I got home and logged on, I found the matches were pretty true to form. The usual 50/25/25. 50% with no photos, 25% I was not attracted to in the least, and 25% okay. I had a lot of "students" this time and I am not interested in a student, unless it says law student. One was actually, and he was a hottie, but no communication requests from him. Also, I was back to the shorties again (as in they are all coincidentally 5'8").

eHarmony Conclusion 1: Short men love eHarmony.

What bothers me the most about this, is most likely, they are lying about their height. For every guy that says he's 5'8", I'm betting he's more like 5'6".

I closed out the ones that I just was not attractive to. I read the answers from the two that replied back. One was the police officer that I found cute from the other day. I sent him my must haves/can't stands. The other, I'm still a little hesitant on, because he's the one that hasn't shown his picture. I think I'll wait this one out a little bit.

I don't have responses from the other two that I sent questions back to. So, either they just haven't logged on yet, or they didn't like my answers. But seriously, how much are guys looking at those answers? I seriously doubt they're ruling girls out based on their answers. If the girl's mildly attractive, he's probably meeting up with her and then going from there.

So, I decided to search for new matches. I received 7 new ones. They really love 7 at a time, and the demographics fit the same 50/25/25. Just for kicks, I ran the search for new matches again, and they said they didn't have any new matches. But you know what, I guarantee I have 7 new matches when I wake up tomorrow.

Right now, I have 28 total matches. 18 that are open. 7 of which I am in communication with - 2 that I am waiting for answers, 1 that I sent must haves, 1 that responded to my questions, but doesn't have a photo, and the 3 that I don' know what to do with - the ones from yesterday. I'm thinking I might close them out. I just am not attracted to them, but I think I'll let them live in limbo for a little bit longer.

Something I'm curious about. I haven't had anyone close me out, but I have 11 that haven't done anything with me. Are these guys keeping me in limbo? Or are they exploring something with someone right now and want to see how that goes before they try someone new? Also, some may be people that signed up to receive their free personality profile, and 5 free matches. Also, I've read about how sometimes they don't close down accounts. This is a problem in a lot of these sites, or so I have heard. So, they may not even be logging in. That's why I think I'll wait to have the guy make the first move on me!

xoxo, Maxi

eHarmon-me: Day 2

When I got to work today and checked my personal email, my inbox had blown up! I had three requests for communication from last night's matches, 7 new matches, and 4 requests from those 7 new matches!

I couldn't see what they looked like, and you better believe I didn't want to log onto eHarmony at work, so I just speculated about these new matches. Of course, not knowing what they looked like drove me insane! A few were lawyers (very nice), some were IT, and I don't remember what the others were. Oh! One was a radio broadcaster. This one requested communication, and it makes me nervous. What if he's doing some sort of expose on online dating. Will my name be changed to protect the innocent?

What drew me to eHarmony instead of match, was that only people that you are matched up with can see your photo. But if they're matching me with 7 people a day, how long is this going to go on for?

After work, Cat and I went to the gym, as usual. And I couldn't help but be afraid that every guy in there was a potential match, and was looking at me, and knew I was on there. Everytime a guy smiled, or said "excuse me" or held open the elevator door, all I could think was "he knows!!!" Of course, that's ridiculous, but I didn't like not knowing!

When I got home I logged on. The three communications from the first night matches were questions that I had multiple choice answers too. I answered their questions and posted back some of my own. Two of these guys were cute, so I was happy they talked to me. The third didn't have a picture, but I answered his questions anyways.

My new matches were definitely 50/50, just like yesterday. Some did not show their photos. Out of the ones that did, about half were cute, the others weren't bad, I just don't know that I'd give them a second glance on the street. I think I'll wait to communicate with them until I've let Cat take a glance at them. On the bright side though, they were all definitely taller.

I can't help but think that a lot of these matches look familiar. I'm not sure if I actually KNOW them, or if I just recognize them from my match.com stalking. It is making me a little nervous though. And why have I been matched with 3 college administrators? That's a little random? What is a college administrator and how many of them are running around Richmond that I would be matched up with 3?

So, tonight, I sent communication to the three from yesterday, and one from today. I have three that are hanging out there, but like I said, I need Cat to look at them. Or, maybe I'll wait and see what develops with these guys.

I guess today's question is, is eHarmony squirreling away matches? Or are these all new members? Surely there can't be that many new people that join every day? So, when I get a match, there's a good possibility that they're in the works talking with someone else already.

xoxo, Maxi

eHarmon-me: Day 1

So, I went and did it! Yes, yours truly joined eHarmony! I don't know what I was thinking (well, actually I know exactly what I was thinking. I've had too much wine, Major just said "thank you" when I told him I missed him, and Cat and I always joke about how it's time to join) but here I find myself, the newest member of eHarmony. I joined late last night and I got a great discount. If you google eHarmony promotional codes, a ton of websites will come up. I tried almost a dozen that were listed before I found one that actually worked! 3 months of $30, not too bad.

Although I technically joined yesterday (hence why there are two posts today), I want to start with Day 1. Cat and I decided at work today that I should chronicle my foray into the scary world of online dating. I swore I wouldn't do this. I was still sure I could meet someone the old fashioned way. And I still believe that, but I thought I'd give it a try!

As soon as I joined, I was instantly matched with 7 matches. I looked through them. A few were pretty bad and a few weren't so bad. I just got familiar with the site and tried to get over the fact that I would be mortified if I was set up with someone I knew! I actually closed a few matches out right then and there. They just weren't attractive, one was an atheist (I put preference of Christian, or no religious affiliation, but I wasn't looking for that extreme). One was in the Army. I instantly clicked on him to see if he could be Major's replacement, but he was one that I closed out shortly thereafter. Most were short. Definitely short.

I left 4 of the original matches. I was pretty interested in two, so we'll see if they contact me. One was a police officer, and then other was in radio. Another was cute, and one didn't have a picture, but didn't sound too bad from him profile.

I uploaded some pictures and decided to make them available instantly. You can choose at what level you what them available, but I consider myself attractive, and think it will help the more attractive and confident guys approach me, as opposed to the desperate ones that will talk to you without photos. I found that most of the guys did have photos. There were some that didn't, so we'll see. I'll feel badly though, if we talk for several levels, and then when he reveals himself, I'm like "yikes! no way!" But guys are usually more confident, I feel as though if they are remotely attractive, they'll post immediately, but who knows, there's only one way to find out.


Here are some questions I have that hopefully I will know the answers by the end of this.

1. Is there a limit of matches you can get? Meaning, do you have to close some out before they'll give you some new ones?

2. Do they really match based on personality? My first instinct is no, there's not way they can match that many people on something like that. But then I think, Cat's had two friends that tried to sign up but they were told there were no matches for them. Granted, they were both a little kooky, but...

3. What's the ratio of men to women? Are the same 20 men being passed around to the 100 women on this? So men have 100 potential matches, and the 100 women are all vying for the same 20 men?

4. How many people can you open communicate with?

5. What type of guys are on this?

6. Am I going to know anyone?

Technically, I went to bed at this point, but I'm going to start Day 2 of the blog.

xoxo, Maxi

Rainy Sunday afternoon

Here I am, sitting around my house, blogging. I have a million things I could be doing: work that I brought home to do, cleaning, laundry, studying, painting. But no, I'd rather sit around and procrastinate.

This weekend was pretty good as far as exercise if concerned. Yesterday I did 4 hours of yard work! I spent the whole time weeding, and you can't tell a difference at all. The front yard looks really good (if I do say so myself), but the back in a mess. But at least they are all short weeds, since I do mow on a regular basis! My next door neighbor, Topaz, rents. So, she doesn't care at all about her yard, and she's starting to piss me off! There are dandelions everyone, and the weeds are growing into my yard. I'm constantly weeding over the fence into her yard to get the weeds that have wrapped themselves around in the fence holes. I'm thisclose to getting a tall, wooden fence, but of course that costs $$$ which we all know Maxi does not have a ton of!

So, anyways, I'm pretty sore today. Then, I woke up early to do a 4 mile charity walk. That was fun. Then, we're supposed to have softball practice, but it is muggy and damp and I just don't want to go. I think I'll skip out.

Major's been calling me almost every day. He's been gone for 2 weeks, and maybe he hasn't called me 4 of those 14 days. I definitely enjoy talking to him, but it's getting hard because I really still miss him. I think it might be best if he doesn't call. But I guess I talk to him hoping that he'll tell me he wants to date long distance. I know that won't happen though, one day he'll stop calling, and it'll be because he has a date. He did ask if I wanted to go visit him. He said he'd take some days off, and we'd have a nice vacation. I'm considering it, but I've been really busy at work and don't know if I can.

Well, I guess that's it. Maybe I'll do something productive today.

xoxo, Maxi

Major Letdown

This will probably be the last in the post series about Major. Last weekend he left back for his original base. I was a hot mess last week, I will admit that. Cried myself to bed everynight.

Thursday night I finally got the nerve to talk to him. I told him I really cared for him, he meant more to me than a 4 month fling while he was here, I was going to miss him, etc. He wasn't really much in the talking department. He sort of repeated everything I said, but that was about it. Then he said he really appreciated everything I did for him here, and thank you for being a great friend. No mention of the future, no mention that we can see if it works out. More like "thanks for the time here, it meant a lot, but that's it."

I sort of liken the situation to summer camp. Everyone has that camp story where they go away and fall in love (his name was Chad. I was 13, I had my first french kiss on the bridge that went out over the lake. Oh the memories) but then it's back to reality when summer's over. I think that's how it was with Major. I do think we were in each other's lives for a reason. For me, I was getting down right cynical about men. I think I needed him to come in, show me that there's still good guys out there that will treat you right, and I don't need to settle. For him, I think he needed the confidence boost, and really just the fun after his painful divorce.

Additonally, I think he just couldn't wait to get back to his daughter. That was foremost on his mind, and while he was somewhat sad to be leaving me, the excitement he felt to see his daughter, and be back in familiar territory was all incompassing. And I respect that. It shows he's a good father and person. So maybe once he's back and settled, he'll realize life without Maxi is pretty dull. Or maybe not.

Major did call every night for 6 days. But last night he did not. I don't really know how I feel about this. Part of me is sad, because I know he's slipping away into the friend zone, then eventually into someone I used to know but don't talk to zone. I think the transition with him calling really helped me though. I wasn't feeling completely helpless and alone, but at the same time, by not seeing him, it's helping me a lot.

Even though this isn't the way I wanted it to end, I will say this. I'd do it again. I really enjoyed my time with him, and he taught me a lot. I knew going into this that there was the potential that I would care deeply for him, and that I would be hurt, but that was the risk I was willing to take on from the beginning. But I guess that's that. We'll see if anything else materializes. I feel trite saying all these cliches, but I'm not sad because it's over, I'm happy because it was. And really, those words were never more true.

xoxo, Maxi

Sophomores, Dorm Life and Extra Long Twin Beds

Does that sound like the title of the sketchiest country song ever or what!?

This past weekend I went back to my old stomping ground, college! My school was a small, private school, where you could go anywhere alone and know you'd run into someone, but at the same time, there were always new people to meet. I loved it. LURRVED it! And I miss it everyday. Ah, the carefree days of youth.

I serve on my alumni board, and we had our semi-annual meeting this past weekend. After our last meeting, we were all heading out to have some nice dinner when...

We strolled past one of the town homes on campus. There were about a half a dozen guys outside, drinking, playing music, grilling. And it was a gorgeous spring day. One of the other alum (Class of '86) walked up to them and started talking. He's that type of guy. Next thing I know, we all have beers in our hands and are just shooting the shit. We needed to head up to the restaurant to meet with the rest of the board members, but the college boys were all like "You guys HAVE to come back." You know there's nothing college guys like better than making old alum get drunk and act crazy.

So, you are probably assuming that's where the story ends...Oh no, not Maxi. I definitely convince the others we do need to go back. So, after dinner, we buy a few cases of beet and go back to the party. By this time, a party was in full swing. When we walked up to the house, all the guys started hooting and hollering. And it wasn't just for the beer! Haha.

The next few hours are kind of a blur. There was dancing, major flirting, talking, drinking, you get the picture, totally college. Anyways, I'm not trying to boast or anything, but I was definitely the life of the party. Haha! Everyone wanted to know me and be my friend. I was everyone's partner in beer pong, I was the DJ, I was BFF's with girls and guys alike.

Of course the guys were soooo flattering. I forgot how much I love younger guys.

College Dude: "You're an alum!? No way, I thought you were visiting a friend here. How old are you? Like 23?"

Me: "Oh you flatter me...don't stop."

CD: "No seriously, I thought you were in college."

Me: "I love you."

Well, I definitely made one CD's night! Haha! We were hanging out for most of the night, he was super cute, shaggy hair (typical of most CDs), a little bit of acne (haha), definitely skinny, but with a beer gut, like any respectable CD has.

Anyways, I knew what I was getting myself into when he asked if I wanted to go back to his room and "Rock out to my bass guitar." Next thing, I find myself in a sophomore's dorm room making out on the extra long twin bed. Haha, I don't know what came over me. It was just something about being in the college atmosphere, and feeling so confident. I was more confident with these CDs than I ever was in college. I wish I had been like that back then, but, hey you learn and you grow.

The whole night was amusing to say the least. I left my jewelry and cell phone there and had to go back the next day to get it. Of course, I don't have an ID to get in, so I have to lurk outside the dorm until someone leaves, and at 10:30 am on Saturday on a campus dorm, there are few people around. Finally, I get in and knock on his door. No one answers, so I quietly open the door and peek in. He is dead to the world. I grab my stuff and go. He was a cutie.

There is one major problem though. I'm torn between laughing at the whole event and telling everyone how ridiculous I was spending the night (well, okay 2 hours) in a sophomore dorm at the age of 28, and feeling like a total skank. What happened to Major Dad you may ask? Nothing, we're still the same as ever. I really really care about him, and I'm feeling like a total skank about the whole situation for two reasons:
1. What am I doing hooking up with a sophomore I'll never see again (and for inquiring minds that want to know - yes, I am a BJ whore)?

I have no answer.

2. Why did I not care that I hooked up with another guy while I care about Major Dad?

I think there's a variety of reasons, (but none being excuses)including: a)I was thoroughly enjoying the attention these younger boys where showering on me; b) Major Dad and I never "defined the relationship"; c) Major Dad is leaving in 2 weeks and I'm really really sad, maybe this was my way of not being so sad when he leaves; d) maybe this is my way of "punishing" Major since we haven't talked about what's going to happen, and I'm like 85% sure he's going to be like "You know, I care about you, but this is good bye." (Which I have no intention of telling him about it though, FYI); e) I was very drunk; or f)I thought I was in college again and Major Dad, and jobs, and everything like that were a million miles away. While I feel bad that I'm a skank, but not that I did something to Major Dad that I would be devastated if he did to me????

To sum up the weekend, I won't be surprised if they "respectfully" ask me to step down from the board. But hey, I was only fostering alumni/student relations, and isn't that the point of the board?