Monday, June 23, 2008

Man I love these younger boys

Well, I now have SBP4. Haha, not really in the least, but potential for some serious scandal! This past Saturday, Cat and I and another friend went to one of my favorite bars. I usually have good success at this bar. I met the Major, Coach, and another guy I dated on and off for over a year at this bar. Like I said, this bar usually turns out some dates. Cat, M and I are sitting at a high table, and I see someone at the bar that I recognize. It took a little while for it to register, but then I remembered it was a guy I used to teach a few years ago. (I used to teach high school math, but have been at my current job for 3 years now).

I tap him on the shoulder, and he instantly recognizes me. We get to talking, and it sounds like he's doing well for himself. He really was a complete slacker in high school. I had him in Geometry as a junior (it was his second go round). He used to drive me crazy, but in a good, kind of weird way. For example, he was wildly inappropriate all the time. He would ask me all these sex questions, like had I ever had a threesome, when did I lose my virginity, would I ever sleep with a 17 year old. I think at the time, he was living with his sister instead of at home, and whenever I would call the mom, she was like "he's not my responsibility anymore." I do remember once he was getting something out of his wallet and a ton of condoms fell out. I was like "what do you need these for?" He was like "girl, I can rock your world better than any guy your age." (I think I was 23 at the time). Apparently he was dating a 22 year old and he would always bring that up as reason why it was okay for him to be so sexually inappropriate with me. I don't know why, but I liked it in a weird, perverse way.

So, this might sound bad, but I always wanted to make out with a former student, just for the story, and just so he would have one hell of a story to tell his buddies. So, the more I'm talking, the more I'm remembering how I secretly enjoyed his inappropriate attention, and the more I'm thinking he would be the perfect guy to make out with. So, in the middle of the conversation, I just blurt out "So, I think we should make out." He looks at me, trying to take it all in, and goes "okay." So, I proceed to tell him that I've always wanted to make out with a former student, and just never found the right one, and I think he'd be the right one. And really I wanted to do it so that the guy would have a good story for his friends, and wouldn't he like to tell all his friends that he made out with me? Seriously, it was like telling a five year old they may get a puppy. He was ecstatic! So, I continue with this perverse conversation, but tell him I'm probably not drunk enough to do it, but I want us to do it, we need to set it up. He's trying to buy me shots of tequila and all this.

A little bit later, Cat's ready to go, so I tell him I have to leave. He manages to get my number (and by manage, he simply asks for it, I'm such a number whore!). Well, this is where it gets really out of control! He texts me later that night.

Ex-High School Student (HSS): "you know what ms. (last name)/maxi i have always thought about hooking up with you, but thought it was just a dream. I may be young, but i know how to make you forget your name."

Me: HSS i'm serious, i'm all about it
I go to bed at this time and don't get these until the next morning.
HSS: I really wish you were. Cause i would love to spend the night with you and show you a hell of a time. But i feel like you would not be down."

HSS: That was prob a little too forward. Sorry

HSS:I guess that was a little forward

HSS: Ok nevermind

The next morning I wake up and see these wildly inappropriate texts and reply back with:

Me: Haha, I just got these now.

HSS:Haha.

HSS: I ended up getting wasted last night

HSS: I don't remember what i said (yea effing right, he just doesn't want to feel foolish)

Me: Nothing bad, I mean, I thought you were fun. And anything that you may have said that could be construed as inappropriate was completely instigated by me

HSS: Yea you did instigate this whole thing. But now you got me thinkin about it, but either way im still glad we ran into each other

Isn't that the most ridiculous story ever? And here's the worst part, his texts got me really intrigued! I was purely just talking about making out, and he took it to a whole new level. And now, I sort of want to find out if he really can make me forget my name. I am so not one to be involved in scandals like this. The number of guys I've been intimate with can be counted on one hand, and here I am, wanting to increase my number with a 21 year old, who never went to college, has 2 DUI's, probably no license or job, and is a former student. I mean, the story would spread like wildfire. I have a reputation to uphold and although the part of me that never misbehaves is dying to find out, the part that realizes I have to live in this city and potentially have my name associated with sleeping with a guy 7 years my junior, and a former student, is winning the debate (fortunately, I might add. We all know I'd regret this the next morning).

Anyways, I doubt I hear from him again, but even if we didn't make out, the story that he has for his friends about how I propositioned him, may be just as good as actually making out.

Summertime always makes me feel wild, but then fall comes around, and I have to deal with the repercussions. The more situations I get in with people such as HSS, or the college sophomore, the more I realize, I have MAJOR cougar potential.

xoxo, Maxi

Friday, June 20, 2008

Musings from a woman scorned...

Some people in Cat’s and my office think they’re so smart. Little do they know who they’re dealing with! And one may think that this would make me cease my blog, but no, I am not going to let the likes of these two jokesters ruin my blog!

I know it’s been a long time, but I don’t have internet connection at my house anymore so I haven’t had the chance to blog in awhile.

Here’s the short and long of what’s been going on.

Last week I thought I had three potential summer BF’s, but, true to form, I now have zero. Oh well, isn’t that how it always goes?

Last weekend I went on stage to get hypnotized by a hypnotist that comes around to the local comedy club ever two or three months. It was pretty fun. It’s the type of show where he hypnotizes a couple of people and makes them act crazy. Well, there was a pretty cute guy up there who was in the Marines. We were sitting next to each other and acting foolish with one another. When the show was over, I ran down to Cat and another friend we were with and suggested that we get the Marine to come out with us that night! Cat, who is never the shy one, found him and told him that her friend, the one that was up there, wanted to meet him. Well, we hung out that Friday night, and then again Sunday night. He spent the night both times (yikes! I know! But nothing happened, I swear, purely PG-13) and the next week he was calling, wanting me to come visit this weekend coming up. He is super cute, he’s an officer (I must be sending out the signals for Officers after Major Dad), I haven’t laughed that hard in years, and he is one good snuggler, I will tell you what! So, there’s Summer Boyfriend Potential 1.

SBP2 is CJ. My friend from work set it up so that we had a quasi-double date. And it was a lot of fun. I feel like CJ thinks I’m cute. I mean, I’m not that dumb, I can tell when guys are into me, and I felt like I was getting the vibe, but I don’t know. He hasn’t asked for my number or made any other moves. I can’t be making the first move around these dunderheads, or else I’ll be initiating everything our whole relationship. If the guy can’t be man enough in the beginning, then when can he be?

SBP3 is Engineer from eH. He gave me his real email address a little while ago, and we’ve been emailing for over a month now! His emails are still super cute and fun to read. And in fact, we had a cute little banter where he was asking if I had any secret talents. I told him something about how I didn’t think I did, and I was feeling very un-special and needed to call my mom for some ego boost. Well, in his next email he said he didn’t know if it was a secret talent or not, but my emails made him laugh and are “way entertaining to read and that should count for something.” Haha, he loves me! But I will admit, writing him emails is a stressful process. I take time and energy making sure they’re the right mix of wit and seriousness. (Unlike this blog, which my first draft goes to publishing, and is more of stream of consciousness).

Ok, now that I’ve set the stage for the SBP’s, let’s explain how they all quickly turned into nothing.

The Marine is 24 and ridiculous. Just out of control, wild, and while that would be fun for the weekend to go down and visit and go out with a bunch of officers (you know I would be in hog heaven in that situation), he’s just too unreliable. He called me Sunday and said he thought he may have to work through the weekend. Well, Maxi ain’t no fool. I knew what was up. I told him “well, should we just cancel now?” He said “no, I want to see you, it’s just that I may not be able to let you know until Friday.” Uh huh. I see. So, I told him that I didn’t think I had any plans yet, but if I got an offer, I would take it, and if not, and he wasn’t working, I’d still like to come. Because honestly, I wanted to lay out and get tan, and I wanted to go out and party with the 24 year old officers! But he called last night, and confirmed he had to work. I let him know I figured as much, and hadn’t been holding my breath. I think that’s the last I’m going to hear from him. I guess he found some other lady the other weekend that he fancies better. How that is possible, of course I don’t know, but that’s what I think is going on.

SBP2 just isn’t that into me I don’t think. I mean, on one hand, I think I’m getting the vibe from him, but on the other, he’s not making any moves that would suggest that he is into me. I’m not going to suggest to my friend that we meet up or anything like that again. If something happens, or if he wants to get proactive, then fine, but otherwise, he’s officially crossed off my SBP list.

SBP3 is the biggest dunderhead of all! He’s not making any suggestions that we meet in real life, and while I am thoroughly enjoying the email banter, it can only go on for so long. I have a feeling this will fade away by two weeks time.

This will be my last eH update I think. Yesterday, I emptied out my account. I still have a month on it, but hadn’t been receiving matches for over a month. I signed up mainly to see what was going on, but I wasn’t impressed. I think I can still do it the old fashioned way. I closed out everyone, including fun fat, the guy that doesn’t know how to spell his own name, and a couple of other random ones. My final count is 143 closed matches. (I technically left Engineer open though, just because I thought that would be weird). I received these matches in about a month and felt like the quickly got out of control. I think I’ll hold off into foraying back into online dating until after I’m 30. I think that’s the age where I’ll be less likely to be petrified that every time I go out, I’m going to run into someone that “knows.”

Hopefully I’ll have some good updates on SBP 2 or 3 (or even 4+) soon!

xoxo, Maxine

Thursday, June 5, 2008

eHarmon-me: Day 39

Oh my, do I have some news for you! Last night, Cat was doing some snooping on Match and found Fun Fat! Haha! Of course, he had the usual “Over the bar scene” line going on. I need to get rid of him (didn't I say that a few days ago?). The only reason I got this far with him anyways is because Cat was egging me on. I never thought he was cute, I was never attracted to anything about his personality. Plus, he's really intense. His first email to me was May 19. I responded May 22. He wrote back May 23. I didn’t reply back yet, then he wrote again on the 26th. I was sort of leaving him out to dry (I feel a little bit bad about that, but not too much), then he wrote again on June 2nd asking was anyone home and he hoped I wasn't ignoring him because he thought we had a lot of potential, and he was looking forward to getting to know me, and he could see us together!! I finally wrote him back last night, saying I was sorry I was busy. He immediately wrote back. His emails are kind of intense, and I’m just not into his emails. Anyways, seeing him on Match just confirmed that I need to close him out. I wonder how many people he’s talking to. Or (and this is going to sound vain, but it’s the truth), if I’m one of the more attractive girls he’s talking to so he’s excited.

Oh! And someone else interesting was found on Match. There was another guy that I'm in OC with. He's okay. Normal, cute, okay emails with him. Well, on eH, he said he had a son, who was the light of his life, and all this. I even asked about him in 2nd questions, and the guy was all about how great his son was, unfortunately he didn't get to see him as much as he wanted because he lives with the mom. Well, on match, this guy definitely said he didn't have any kids! That's a little weird, right? Kind of shady? Also, let's say his name was Steve? He spelled it Steven on one site, and Stephen on the other. Even more shady. Weird. I think he needs to get the boot as well.

Engineer and I have still been emailing, but nothing has matriculated as far as talking on the phone or meeting. We have some good banter, I will say that. He’s very clever and witty and smart, and our emails really feed off of each other’s well. I definitely would like for us to meet. We’ll see what happens. I don’t know how to proceed. What’s the average time on OC before it either goes to the next level or fades away? Who needs to make the next move? I started communication with him (pretty brazen of me, huh?) but still want him to be traditional and ask to meet me first.

All this flirty email reminds me of TC. This blog was not around during TC’s time, but let me give you some quick background. My friend thought TC and I would make a cute couple, so she gave him my myspace page. He must have liked what he saw, because he started emailing me. We flirted back and forth for a few weeks, but he wasn’t making any moves. Finally, I wrote “well, it was nice emailing you, maybe we’ll bump into each other sometime.” It was just getting old just emailing. Anyways, he wrote back “maybe we should bump into each other on purpose” (or something like that) and we met. Unfortunately I can’t do that with Engineer for two reasons. 1. I’m on this site, isn’t the purpose to meet someone, not just have an email buddy? 2. He doesn’t live in the same city as me. So, I’m kind of at a lose on how to proceed. Oh! This is important about TC. We had some great, witty, funny, flirty email banter. Much like Engineer and I do. However, when I met TC in real life, he was such a dud, I couldn’t believe it. Zero personality. How can someone be so great online, but so terrible in real life? I wonder if that’s how Engineer’s going to be (if we ever meet that is).

No new news on the CJ front. The girl from my work is going to try to plan a happy hour next Thursday and see if he comes. I think if he doesn't come then that will let me know what he thinks about me, because if he really liked me, he'd make sure he was there. Then, if he doesn't ask for my digits then, then I'm going to not worry about him anymore. Because the first meeting (at the cookout) I think set the stage. Then, at the concert, we were hard core flirting, then Saturday at the bar, it was more like tension flirting, you know what I mean, right? When I say tension? So, I think the next meeting is going to be do or die. If he does, then awesome, if he doesn't, then time to move on, I don't need a bumblehead like that anyways.

xoxo, Max

Sunday, June 1, 2008

eHarmon-me: Day 35

It's been a little over a month, and I'm definitely over eHarmony. It was really fun and exciting at first, but the excitement wore off as I realized 90% of my matches were complete duds (and that a good portion of those matches were also probably not active). I haven't been receiving matches for over a week, and have just been communicating with my active matches.

13 current matches
11/13 in communication - I actually took this afternoon to either respond or close out everyone that I was communicating with
130 closed

I'm still excited about the engineer. We've each emailed 2 times. No mention of actually meeting, but the emails have been promising, and at the very least, fun to read and respond.

I'm going to close fun fat. I don't think I'm going to like him, and he seems a little intense for me.

In non-eHarmony news. I definitely have a real life, non-internet crush. A girl at work's been wanting me to meet her friend CJ for about a year now, but either he was seeing someone, or I was. At her Memorial Day cookout, we finally met, and he was super duper adorable. We talked a little at the cookout. This past Friday, the girl invited a bunch of people out to hang out at the free Friday concerts, and CJ came. He was definitely flirting with me. I was definitely feeling that he was digging me. But he didn't ask for my number. Last night, I went to a local bar with some friends and CJ was there. Once again, he was flirting with me, which was cute. We danced, and talked and it was fun. But that was it. I got hugs both nights, I know he likes me, or at least is interested in me, but he hasn't asked for my number or anything. Cat thinks he might be one of those types that likes to hang out with a girl a number of times before he decides to make a move. I'm just excited because I have a straight on crush. I haven't "crushed" on someone in a long time. I've liked guys that I've been dated, but no real "crush" so to speak. I hope this crush goes to the next level, and soon. I think he will be the perfect summertime boyfriend. And hopefully longer! ;)

I saw Sex and the City this weekend as well. It was really good. I enjoyed the movie, I laughed, I cried, it was great. I couldn't believe how old the characters got, in just 4 years, it was unbelievable. I had a good time, saw it was 8 girlfriends, then we went out for dinner (then to the bar where I saw CJ). I don't know that I would have gotten back together with Big though, just that the wedding wasn't the first time he's screwed her over. What happened to that saying, screw me once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me? Well, Carrie's at screw me 12 times, and we'll still live happily ever after. I thought that guy that wrote He's Just Not That Into You helped with the series. Well, I think the countless times Big's screwed Carrie over would have been clear signs that he's not that into you. Talk about giving girls a false hope. Yes, he'll get married to someone else, dump you twice, cheat on his wife, leave you at the alter, convince you to commit adultery, not introduce you to his mom or friends, constantly keep you in the dark about how he feels, but hey, there still might be a chance for you. Ok, enough of that. Seriously, I did love the movie though.

I know it's only 9:30, but I think I might go to bed. I haven't been sleeping well lately, and I'm exhausted, so I hope that means I'll sleep well tonight. Oh joy, a nice sleep to be excited for work tomorrow! Ugh!

Take care, talk to you all later.

xoxo, Maxi