My Middle Eastern conflict...

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog that mentioned I had run into one of my favoritest students ever, Jordan. I ran into him at the local university library, where he is a student and a star soccer player. We chatted for a few moments, and he invited me to the last soccer game, which I happily attended. I just adored him, he was just the most adorable, sweetest student I ever had, and even to this day, there is still a fondness in my heart for him.

Jordan came to the United States sometime in the 2000s from a Middle Eastern country. When I first taught him, he had broken English, but it was very hard for me to communicate sometimes. I have a tendency to be sarcastic, which does not translate very well, as I quickly learned. But our conversations were delightful and he quickly became my favorite student. I know you’re not supposed to have favorites, but any teacher that says they don’t, is lying. I think it must have been obvious, because my then boyfriend that I dated for the years I was teaching, would always make comments about Jordan, I guess I just talked about him so much. He’d always say ridiculous stuff and I was like “You are not seriously jealous of a junior in high school?” But Jordan was very studious and he always brought me yummy treats that his mom made from his home country, and he definitely loved me. And while a lot of the boys “loved” me in a “I want to get with the teacher” way, I definitely felt Jordan’s was genuine, in that Middle Eastern respect and love for elders and teachers.

The next year, when we received our rosters, I was very excited to see Jordan’s name on my elective math class for seniors. He told me he talked to his guidance counselor and specifically asked what class he could take that I taught. The guidance counselor loved Jordan too, and we had a few conversations about how sweet he was, and she would always tell me “Jordan just adores you.” Jordan’s senior year was my last year teaching, and I left that year, knowing I would miss him.

In the three years between his senior year and when I ran into him at the library, a lot had happened to Jordan. He lived with his mom, dad, and sisters (who all attended the university also) and was taking part time classes at the university. Sadly, his father’s unexpectedly passed away that year, but his death provided life insurance money so that Jordan could attend full time. Jordan tried out for the soccer team and quickly went from walk on benchwarmer to starter in a matter of games. His sisters and mother were getting ready to move back home, as they all had student visas. Jordan was studying for his citizenship test so he could stay here in America. His story was certainly a tear jerker, and was epitomized in an article in the newspaper's sports section about him this year. The story followed this likable boy from his home country, playing soccer in bare feet and using rocks as goal posts, to coming to America where he could barely speak English. He ate chicken sandwiches every day for lunch because it was the only thing in the cafeteria he could pronounce. Then, he moved onto becoming an all-star soccer player in the state, and through the sad passing of his father, became a star on the university’s soccer team.

Don’t you just want to cuddle and love this guy forever and ever and be his surrogate sister? I did! I was so happy to have run into him, and was sure he was the sweet boy of his younger days.

Well, all this was dashed to pieces last night. I get a text from him wanting to know if I want to meet up. I think sure, why not, so we go into this long conversation about where to meet up. I say something like “Well, what are you in the mood for? Food? Drinks? Coffee? Ice Cream?” He doesn’t answer for a little bit, then when he does, he doesn’t answer, rather says “Have you decided yet?” (except it’s in text speak, which I don’t know why, but I found it odd that an ESL kid is using text speak). I said “you haven’t told me what you want to do yet.” Then! He replies with “I dont want to hang out anymore i want to kiss and make out” I mean! What am I supposed to say back? Not sure what really is going on at this moment, I say “I’m sure.” I’m seriously thinking “There is no way my sweet, innocent Jordan could have written this. I’m sure a friend stole his phone and Jordan is totally mortified and embarrassed.”

Jordan: U asked what i want
Me: Well, sorry, don’t know what else to tell you then
Jordan: too bad
Me: I guess I’ll take that as a not going to hang out anymore
Jordan: no this one is my fault i was too direct didnt wanted to be like that i just said how I felt

I felt violated, naïve, shocked, upset, hurt! This was not the Jordan I knew and loved! Had he become one of the stereotypical aggressive Middle Eastern guys that hang out in clubs that play house music until 3 am? Had I been wrong about him the whole time? Thinking he wanted an older and wiser mentor friend, someone similar to a teacher, to help him navigate the murky waters that is America if he had to do it alone? The crazy part about all this, is I’m sad that now we’ll probably never talk again. I still miss the Jordan that I knew and hope that this was a crazy high off hookah and that he won’t be so mortified that he can never talk to me again.

Cat wanted to know why I was willing to make out with Jr., and tease the other boy like I did this past summer (remember, the one that wanted to make me forget my name?) but not Jordan. But the truth was, I respected Jordan, these other boys were fools that I didn’t care about. But I cared for Jordan and didn’t want to jerk him around or play him like a fool or use him for ridiculous story telling. And even knowing that he obviously didn’t respect me as I thought he did, I still didn’t want to go there.

Well, Happy New Year’s!

Max-I’m serious about losing 20 lbs this year-ine